Keluhan Suamiku

12.13, Lunch time

I dont think sempat nak makan, so just stay at my workstation and makan green apple yang i beli last week.

Then my phone rang, hmm fix line number so as usual i answered the call and say "Farhana speaking, hello.."

The caller said "i love u, hello.."

Oh, my hubby, tak perasan pulak office no. dia tadi.

"suka dengar sayang jawab call, macam operator pulak" hubby

"just to people recognize me" akulah cakap "have u had ur lunch abg?"

"belum..." suamiku menjawab diiringi dengusan dan keluhan.

I know, there must be something not right.

"sayang, i letihlah. kerja banyak, masa tak cukup. im sorry sayang sebab kadang2 takde masa untuk u and keluarga kita"

Betullah sangkaan aku, suamiku mengeluh pasal kerja. Dia kata sakit kepala and otak. Banyak sangat issue and outstanding.

Dulu dia bising jugak bila aku selalu sibuk and mementingkan kerja, i dont know how to explain.

Memang my life dulu is work and work and work, lagipun semua tu tanggungjawab i, i tak boleh nak abaikan sesuka hati. But now, suami dah rasa sendiri apa yang pernah aku alami dulu.

What else can i say, "sabarlah sayang, u do it slowly ok. mummy tau daddy mampu buat semua tu" aku mestilah nak pujuk suami kan. "next week i teman u outstation ok"

Suami aku apa lagi "betul??"

Dengan confidence aku jawab "ye.. i dah booked hotel dah, kita stay Riviera Bay Resort ye tapi now ni dah tukar nama dah, Everly Resort..sayang mummy ni jangan sedih2 ye"

Akhirnya, pergi jugaklah aku ikut suamiku itu. Sebab tu cari hotel yang ada wifi so i can be still available for work.

My lovely hubby, do u know that im trying to be someone that u can rely on.

I wanna be shoulder to cry on and good listener to u.

I menghargai keinginan u untuk mengahwini i, i kagumi kesetiaan u menanti i sejak dari zaman sekolah lagi..

Kasih sayang dan kesanggupan u untuk melalui apa jua rintangan demi hidup bersama i too precious bagi diri i.

Ini sajalah yang aku mampu lakukan buat setakat ini untuk balas semua jasa suamiku.

Other than that, aku nak carikan kerja lain untuk dia... kat Cyberjaya ni, ada Shell, it should be ok kot kalau try check the vacancy sebab my hubby now ni pun attached dengan oil and gas company.

Boleh pergi kerja together by one car... sounds good.

Good luck Farhana.

alaa, i dont have la the latest picture of my hubby working.

Semoga Allah beri kekuatan dan kebijaksanaan mengendalikan sesuatu pada suamiku ini.

Amin ya rabbal alamin.

Dilema...

Safely home at 6.30pm, tak tahan rasanya. Today was extremely hectic.
Tak sempat pun lunch hari ni.
Now is 8.55pm, hubby not home yet so adalah masa nak meluahkan rasa kat sini.
Hopefully he wont find this out, this blog is my privacy..
This month very painful to me, project memang tengah "klimaks".

Hubby is going off nextweek, outstation.. then, the problem is he is asking me to go with him.
What should i do, nak pergi ke taknak. Kerja memang tengah melambak..
Or else, i may working remotely.. wifi and broadband kan ada..
Tapi macam tak sama, unable to attend meeting with the customer.
Ya Allah, berilah aku petunjuk..

Dulu sebelum kahwin, my job is my priority tapi bila dah ada suami ni.. i perlu berubah, kerja memang suatu ibadah, tapi niat bekerja setelah bergelar isteri ni bertukar, berkerja sebab nak bantu ringankan beban suami.. bila kita masih utamakan kerja sehingga mengenepikan permintaan dan mengabaikan kehendak suami, itu dah silap. Jangan sampai kerja buat kita mengabaikan tanggungjawab sebagai isteri terhadap suami.

So maybe i should go. Hurrmm, but how?

Dear Diary

im alone now, hubby is in his office..

hanya bertemankan love song by celine, shania twain & whitney..

astro ria terpasang tanpa penonton, macam takde mood nak tengok..

kenapa ye, keep thinking of each moment, movement together..

layanan suamiku malam tadi amat istimewa..

how should i say, terlalu bahagia..

ada debaran dihati ini, bagai degupan saat2 bercinta dahulu..

he such a very good husband...

i want to spend my lifetime loving him..

trying to give my best to him..

he is the one who willing to sacrifice everything for me..

my god, he just called me and he said.. "i just call to say i love u"

oh, such a sweet..

macam tau2 je i'm writing something about him..

honey, missing u so much here..

what should i cook for our dinner tonight?? hmmm...

abg nak makan apa ye...

or else, it's been a while we both tak keluar bersama..

let me check on Secret Recipe and nice movie to watch..

Dimanakah Titik Mula

aku benar2 tak tahu dimana harus ku mula...
and don't know how to start..
tapi blog ini aku jadikan ruang luahan hati, instead of my PDA, laptop or diary.. all those mine no longer P&C which means there is someone always keep his eye on them.
jam telah menunjukkan 8:05pm, aku masih disini, di office dgn bertemankan kebuntuan fikiran.
it's really hard to twist it, wake up nana! u are married! go home, go home.. your husband will be waiting for u, he is driving home now.
oh god! help me out of this burden.
there will be plenty of work, sampai mati pun takkan habis.
but i'm still young, i am 24. still looking forward my secure life, with all the mission and vision.
should i blame this marriage?
no, definitely i can't.
what should i do??
now my day become shorter... may i have 46 hours for each day?
adakah aku seharusnya bersyukur, punya seorang suami yang sangat baik dan penyayang.
dia terlalu menyayangi aku tapi ada ketikanya aku rimas dengan sikapnya yang kuat cemburu.
adakah cemburu itu tandanya sayang, atau adakah cemburu itu perlu apabila kita menyayangi seseorang?
aku jua ada perasaan cemburu tapi cukuplah sekadarnya, jika ia keterlaluan, ia pasti memusnahkan..
bagaimana lagi harus aku nyatakan pada suamiku, berkali kurasa.
ada ketikanya kurasakan matlamatku agak terhad dan tersekat.
aku tidak lagi ligat dalam perniagaan sampingan, tidak lagi sibuk mencari client dan pemilik saham.
hanya dengan kata2 "u nak kaya macam mana lagi?" cukup membuatku faham suamiku kurang senang, aku perlu akur...
ikhlaskan hati wahai Farhana, redhalah...

i'm about to leave for home.
this project is ongoing, i'm surrounding with commitmence date and deadline..
my hubby will be working tomorrow so i may get it done at home.
Allah itu maha mengetahui, Dia jugalah yang memudahkan perjalanan hidup ini.